The Mermaid Beauty and Aladdin the Beast in
by FWP- A Dangerous Combination
Summary: By: Shira and DS. When Zel breaks a magical item, it sends him and Amelia into a land of fairy tales...Whee!


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The Mermaid Beauty and Aladdin the Beast in: The Mummy Bride

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Title by Shira ^^

Zel: *looks up at the big temple* This is supposed to have a powerful magical device hidden in the center. If we can find it, maybe we can use it for my cure.

Ame: *looks up* Doesn't this kind of look like the last temple we were in?

Zel: *shrug* The symbols on the walls are different, but for the most part all temples look alike.

Ame: *nods* 

Zel: *walks over to the big double doors*

Ame: *follows*

Zel: *pushes*

Doors: *don't open*

Zel: *puuuush*

Ame: *sweatdrop*

Zel: *PUSH*

Ame: Do you need some help?

Zel: I got it. Fireball!

Door: *not open*

Zel: *kick the door*

Door: *not open*

Ame: Do you think there might be a magical seal?

Zel: It doesn't look like it.....

Ame: Can I try?

Zel: Go ahead.

Ame: *reaches over* *pulls*

Door: *opens easily*

Zel: ........ *sweatdrop*

Ame: ^^;;

Zel: *ahem* Um.... let's go

Ame: Hai.

Zel: *walks through the doors*

Ame: *follows him*

Zel: *stops abruptly*

Ame: *bumps into his back* 

  
Zel: *looks over his shoulder at her*

Ame: *sweatdrop* Sorry.

Zel: Look.

Ame: Hmm? *looks*

Zel: This temple is built like a maze.

Ame: Oh...

Zel: We'll have a time trying to find our way to the center.

Ame: *nods* Seems that way.

Zel: *shrug* Well, we've nothing else to do but go ahead and try to find our way through.

Ame: Hai.

Zel: *starts through*

Ame: *follows* *uses her nifty marker spell*

Zel: What's that for?

Ame: In case we get lost. So we know if it's where we've been.

Zel: *shrug* I don't think we need it, but if you want to, go ahead.

****

A LONG WHILE LATER....

Zel: *stops suddenly*

Ame: *doesn't bump into him this time (Yay for Ame)* What's wrong?

Zel: *points* Your marker...

Ame: Apparently..._(*)_

Zel: We're lost.

Ame: What do we do now?

  
Zel: If Filia were here, she'd have some tea.

Ame: Want to have some tea?

Zel: It's not a bad idea.... Except we don't have any with us...

Ame: Right…

Zel: Well.... now what....?

Ame: I guess we should just keep going.

Zel: *nod* I guess

Ame: *walky*

Zel: *walky*

Zel: *turny round a corner*

Ame: *walky around the corner* *touches the wall*

Ame: AH! *gets sucked into the wall*

Zel: AMELIA!

Ame: All I did was touch the wall!

Zel: *grabs Ame's arm* Hang on!

Ame: *hangs on* *still getting sucked into the wall*

Zel: *pulls* *grimace* I..... can't.....

Ame: *gets sucked all the way through the wall*

Zel: *gets sucked in after her*

Ame: *in the creepy dark place within the wall* Zelgadis-san?

Zel: Amelia?

Ame: Are you okay?

Zel: Yeah..... Fine...... You?

Ame: I'm all right.  
  
*Pressure in the dark place starts to increase*

Ame: We need to get out of here.

Zel: How?

Ame: Um....

Zel: Wait! I got it

Ame: You do?

Zel: Fireball!!

Wall: *blows up*

Ame: That works!

Zel: *back in the maze*

Ame: *ditto*

Zel: You okay?

Ame: Fine--Itai!! 

Zel: What's wrong?

Ame: *holds her wrist* It hurts....*grimace*

Zel: *takes Ame's hand* *looks at her wrist*

Ame: *winces*

Zel: Sorry.... 

Ame: It's okay...

Zel: I think it's broken

Ame: *siiiigh* Oh. 

Zel: What's worse is Recovery can't fix broken bones. _(**)_

Ame: Oh...

Zel: So the best we can do is.... *tears a strip off the bottom of his cape* *wraps Ame's wrist up really tight*

Ame: Thank you, Zelgadis-san.

Zel: Try not to use it

Ame: *nods* Hai.

****

A WHILE LATER...

Zel: *walks into the center* Finally, we're here

Ame: *follows him in* Is that the magical item? *points*

Zel: *looks* *walks over to it* Sure looks like it...

Ame: Do you know what it does?

Zel: Not a clue

Ame: Zelgadis-san...*sighs* Be careful.

  
Zel: I know, I know, you tell me this every time we go to a temple and I have to pick up some strange magical item

Ame: Has it worked yet?

Zel: Nope.

Ame: -_____-;;

Zel: *lil smile* I'll be careful, Amelia.

Ame: Okay...

Zel: *reaches out for the magical thingy*

Ame: *watches all worriedly*

Zel: *picks it up*

Magical Thingy: *flashes really bright*

Zel: *the bright light startles him* *drops the magical thingy* ..... oops

  
Ame: Zelgadis-san!!!!

*whole center place starts flashing and swirling and stuff*

Zel: ...... I should have been more careful.....

Ame: Yes....

*flashy flashy* *swirly twirly whirly*

Ame: What's happening?!?

Zel: I wish I knew!

****

*SUPER BRIGHT FLASH*

*Zel and Ame are gooonnnnnne*

Ame: *appears outside a big castle* Wha...?

  
Gates: *open all creepily by themselves*

Ame: *walks forward hesitantly* *walks inside the big castle* Lighting!

*nothing happens*

Ame: Oh no...Is anybody here?

Echo: Anybody here? ....body here..... here....

Voice: Over here!

Ame: Huh?

Voice: This way!

Ame: *follows the voice* Where are you?

Voice: Right here!

Ame: *looks*

Lumiere: Hello!

Ame: Are you talking?

Lumiere: But of course!

Ame: But you're...you're...

Lumiere: A candlestick?

Ame: Um....yes....

Lumiere: Yup! There's a curse on this place! Our master got turned into a Beast, and the rest of us got turned into household thingies.

Ame: Oh I'm sorry!

Lumiere: Don't be! If someone falls in love with our master, then we get back to normal!

Ame: Oh. Well, I wish I could help you but, I already love someone...

Lumiere: *shrug* I have to take you to my master anyway. No visitors allowed. Didn't you read the signs?

Ame: What signs?

Lumiere: The signs all over the gate!

Ame: Oh...well....

Lumiere: *shrug* Come on! Follow me! *hops off the table*

Ame: *follows cause she has nothing else to do*

Lumiere: *hops down the halls* *hops up the stairs* *hops down more halls* *hops up more stairs*

Ame: *follows*

Lumiere: *stops in front of a big set of double doors with really ugly looking demon monster thingies for the handles*

Ame: You want me to go in there?

Lumiere: *nod* That's the West Wing, where our master spends all his days

Ame: Where am I?

Lumiere: You're in the West Wing!

Ame: I mean, I know this is the West Wing, but where am I?

Lumiere: ....in the castle?

Ame: *sweatdrop* Never mind

Lumiere: *shrug* You should go in there now

Ame: Okay...*opens the door*

Lumiere: *hurries away*

Voice: Who's there?

Ame: *walks inside all cautiously and closes the door* Amelia Wil Tesla Seyruun…

Voice: ...... Amelia?

Ame: Hai....?

Zel: *steps out of the shadows* Where were you?

Ame: Oh it's you, Zelgadis-san! I don't know actually...I kind of...appeared outside this castle.

Zel: *nod* Same here..... except I appeared in this dark hallway

  
Ame: I'm so glad it's you! This talking candlestick led me here.

Zel: ....talking ...... candlestick ....?

Ame: *nods*

Zel: That's weird... a talking teapot tried to serve me tea and cookies

Ame: *blinks* 

Zel: Do you know where we are?

Ame: The talking candlestick couldn't tell me...

Zel: The talking teapot couldn't either....Maybe you can help me figure this out....*walks over to a rose with a glass thingy over it*

Ame: *follows him over* Well, the talking candlestick said that their ''master'' was turned into a beast and they were all turned into household thingies. He said the spell would be broken once someone fell in love with the ''master''.

Zel: ..... I suppose he's assuming I'm the "master"

Ame: *nods* He said that's who he was bringing me to when he led me here.

Zel: *nod* But that doesn't explain this thing..... What's this got to do with any of it? It looks really enchanted

Ame: *looks at it* If only we could figure out where we are...

Zel: *nod*

Ame: Hmm... Talking objects, a master who's a beast--No offense, Zelgadis-san.

Zel: None taken

Ame: An enchanted rose...

Zel: How are all these tied together?

Ame: It's a story! That's it! We're in a story!

Zel: .... We're in a story?

Ame: It's called ''Beauty and the Beast"! It's a fairy tale!

Zel: Oh really?

Ame: Hai.

Zel: So what happens? I'm assuming we have to end this to get out of it

Ame: Well, I'm assuming that I'm Belle.

Zel: Okay

Ame: See, the Beast was once a prince, but he had the spell put on him because he was so heartless

Zel: ..... That fits

Ame: And the rose was a symbol of how much time he had left to fall in love, and have the person love him back

Zel: Kay

Ame: Because when the last petal falls, he would remain a beast forever

Zel: *nod*

Ame: To make a long story short, Belle and the Beast eventually fall in love, and kiss and all of the objects and the Beast are returned to human form

Zel: ....right

Ame: So...yes...

Zel: So..... Wait..... *thinks this over* That means..... in order to finish the story.....We have to.... kiss?

Ame: That's how the story goes...

Zel: *blush*

Ame: *blush*

Zel: W-well, I guess if we want to get out of here..... *blush*

Ame: Yeah...I guess so...*blush*

Zel: *super blush*

Ame: *blush blush blushiness*

Zel: *blushies* *can't do it*

Ame: *blushy* *grabs him and pulls him down to her level* *kisses him quickly on the lips*

Zel: O.O

Ame: *super blushiness* *lets go*

Zel: *uber blushy*

Zel: W-well.... Th--that should have ended this..... Right?

Ame: *weakly* I think that all the objects have to turn into humans first...

Zel: Right..... *still lil blush* We should go check on them

Ame: Hai. *still blushing cause she can't believe she did that*

Zel: *ahem* *leaves the West Wing*

Ame: *follows*

*Lots people all down in the ballroom*

Ame: Where did all these people come from?

Zel: I think..... They're the talking objects

Ame: *piku* Oh

Zel: Shouldn't it end now? *starts glowing all gold*

Ame: Zelgadis-san!

Zel: What the--? *is lifted into the air*

Ame: You're turning back into a human! That's how the story goes!

Zel: A human?

Ame: Yes!

****

*everything goes swirly twirly whirly* *Zel stops glowing and falls with a thump onto the swirly twirly whirly ground*

Zel: *appears in a turban on top of the big elephant* What--?

Genie: It's Prince Zelly! Fabulous he! Zelly Ababua!

  
Zel: Kuso! I'm still a chimera....

Genie: He's got seventy-five golden camels!

Zel: Huh? *looks around*

Genie: Purple peacocks he has sixty-three!

Zel: What's this? *takes off the turban* What's going on!?!

Genie: When it comes to gigantic-sized mammals

Zel: *tries to stand up* *falls down cause the elephant is shaky*

Genie: Has he got the zoo, and I'm telling you! It's a first-class menagerie!

Zel: WHERE AM I!?!

Elephant: *kicks the door to the palace open* 

Sultan: *clappity clap clap*

Elephant: *bows*

Zel: *slides off* *lands with a thump on the ground*

Sultan: That was wonderful! Absolutely wonderful!

Zel: *stands up* Um..... right..... *looks around*

Jafar: Welcome, Prince Abooboo

Sultan: My dear boy, I have never seen a performance like that before!

Zel: The name's Zelgadis, and.... neither have I....

Sultan: Oh Jasmine will be so pleased!

Zel: Jasmine?

Sultan: Isn't that why you're here, to ask her hand in marriage?

Zel: I.... Um....

Sultan: Oh don't worry, my boy. You'll be perfect together.

Jafar: Sultan, we've talked about this. I am to marry the princess

  
Sultan: Yes, Jafar, but that was before we had any more suitors!

Zel: Suitors?

Sultan: Of course!

Jafar: I am marrying the princess! Not some stuck-up prince! 

Ame: Hey! I am not marrying anyone!

Everyone: *looks up*

Zel: .....Amelia....?

Ame: *shocked* Zelgadis-san?

Zel: *sees Ame in Princess Jasmine attire* *lil blush*

Ame: *remembers what she's wearing* *lil blush*

Jafar: *serpent staff thingy to Sultan* The princess will marry me!

Sultan: The princess.....will.....marry you.....

  
Zel: *notices the staff thingy* *snatches it and bashes it*

Sultan: *all back to normal*

Zel: *looks at Ame* Was I supposed to do that?

Ame: I think you're timing is a little off...but now is as good a time as any.

Zel: *shrug* Sultan, he was controlling you with this. *shows Sultan the staff*

Jafar: Um.... about that.... I can explain...

Sultan: Jafar! Is this how you've been convincing me of your plans?!?!

Jafar: Um..... yeah...... See, about that.....

Zel: *hurries over to Ame* *whisper* What happens in this one??

Sultan: Guards! Seize him!

Guards: *grab Jafar*

Ame: *whisper* Well, Jafar gets away...

Zel: *whisper* Okay....

Jafar: *takes out his lil vial thingy* You haven't seen the last of me! *smashes it*

*Puffy Pink Clouds of Smoke*

*smoke clears*

*Jafar is gone*

Zel: *whisper* He got away.... now what?

Ame: *whisper* And since we skipped the carpet ride, on the day we announce the wedding, the lamp with the genie in it gets stolen. Jafar uses it to take over this city...and kidnap Jasmine. That's me.

Zel: *whisper* .... wedding?

Ame: Oh...yes....

Zel: *whisper* Don't tell me we have to get married

Ame: Well, technically, they don't get married till the third part of the story. _(***)_

Zel: .....Do we have to do the third part?

Ame: I doubt it. This is the first part.

Zel: Okay, so Jafar takes over the city and kidnaps you.... then what?

Ame: Then you come flying in on your magic carpet because Jafar was stupid and sent it with you across the world

Zel: I have a magic carpet?

Ame: Hai

Zel: ... cool

Ame: So then, I try to um...distract Jafar while you try and get the lamp...

Zel: Lamp?

Ame: With the genie in it.

Zel: Genie.... of course....

Ame: That's why you look like a prince. Aladdin wished to be a prince so he could marry Jasmine

Zel: *looks at his clothes* This is what a prince wears? *shoves the stupid feather out of his face*

Ame: In this story.

Zel: Okay. So I get the lamp?

Ame: Um...no Jafar sees you

Zel: Of course. Then what?

Ame: And so then he goes all big and scary and turns into a snake…A very very big snake

Zel: Snake.... right

Ame: And so then after you guys fight for a while you tell him that the genie is more powerful than he is. He wishes to be a genie and gets stuck in the lamp

Zel: Mmkay

Ame: The world is right again...you wish for the genie to be free instead of wishing to be a prince again, because Jafar turned you back into a normal person....the Sultan says the Princess can marry anyone she wants...happily ever after...

Zel: That works

Zel: Isn't there any way to make this shorter? It seems like an awful lot of stuff has to happen

Ame: Well... we could go find Jafar ourselves...

Zel: Okay. Kill him right off before he even has to kidnap you or anything

Ame: Okay.

Zel: Then free the genie and be done with it

Ame: Okay. But Jafar doesn't die...

Zel: Fine, we do whatever. Where will we find him?

Ame: His hideout under the castle!

Zel: Okay! Let's go

****

DOWNSTAIRS...

Zel: *pulls open a big set of double doors*

Jafar: *sitting in his throne*

Ame: All right Jafar! I command you to stop your evil ways at once!

Jafar: So nice of you to join me. Too bad you time's almost up, Princess. *does his wavey thingy* *Ame gets in her hourglass thingy*

Zel: Amelia!!

Ame: *looks up as the sand starts to fall on her head*

Zel: Was that supposed to happen?

Ame: *nods cause he can't hear her through the glass*

Jafar: *stands up* Perhaps you were looking for this? *holds up the lamp*

Zel: Huh? Oh, yeah. That's that lamp thing.

Jafar: I already used it to make myself the most powerful sorcerer in the world!!!

Zel: Huh. Lina wouldn't like you saying that.

Jafar: ... who?

Ame: *sand is up to her ankles*

Zel: Never mind. Anyway, now I save Amelia and--

Jafar: Why don't you see just how snakelike I can be?

Zel: I didn't say anything about a snake....

Jafar: *turns into a snake*

Ame: *sweatdrop* *sand is up to her waist*

Zel: Oh boy

Jafar: *wraps up around Zel* *starts to squeeze him*

Zel: Oh great. Amelia! How'd I get out of this mess?

Jafar: *gasp* He's right! Genie! My final wish! I wish for you to turn me into an all-powerful genie!!

Ame: ....?

Zel: ..... What did I say?

Ame: *shrugs*

Genie: But--

Jafar: DO IT!

Genie: *shrug* *turns Jafar into a genie*

Ame: *sand is all the way up to her neck now...cause that's how it is in the movie*

Jafar: *lets go of Zel*

Zel: *runs over to Ame* *kicks the glass, breaking it, and helps her up*

Ame: Thanks, Zelgadis-san!

Zel: Don't mention it. So, how does this work out?

Ame: He'll now go into the lamp.

Jafar: YEEESSS!!! I HAVE THE POWER OVER THE COSMOS!!!! I AM THE MOST POWERFUL BEING!!! What? What the-- *wrist thingies appear*

Jafar: *swirls down into a lamp in Zel's hands* NOOOOoooooo.......

Zel: *looks down at the lamp* All right then

Ame: *looks at the lamp* *then back at Zel* 

Zel: *looks at Ame* Now what?

Ame: You wish for the genie to be free.

Zel: Oh. Right. Genie, I wish for you to be free

Genie: *gasp* *tears* Freedom?

Zel: ..... Yeah

Ame: ^^;;

Genie: *speechless* *wrist thingies go away* *lamp disappears* WAHOOOOOOO! I'm free at last!!!!!! *hugs and kisses Zel* THANKS, BUDDY!!!!! *flies off*

Zel: ........

Ame: .......

Zel: Now what?

Ame: I think it's supposed to end....

Zel: What about that thing you said..... where the Sultan says something. About the princess and stuff

Ame: Oh...right...

Zel: So we have to find the Sultan?

Sultan: *appears* Let it be known, that from this day forward, the princess shall marry whomever she chooses.

Zel: Great

Ame: Guess not...

****

*swirly twirly colors whirly whirly spinny twirly* 

Ame: *walks into the room* *doesn't really know what she's doing* *takes out the dagger*

Zel: (from the bed) *sees Ame* AMELIA! What in L-sama's name are you doing?!?!

Ame: *stops* Wha...? *sees the dagger* AH! *drops it* *turns around* Zelgadis-san! ...Why are you on the bed...?

Zel: I have NO CLUE!

Humperdink: Neither do I.

Zel: Who are you??

Ame: Um...*walks over to Zel* 

Humperdink: That is no way to talk to me!

Zel: I can talk to you whatever way I want you pig!

Ame: *whisper* I don't really know this story.....

Zel: *whisper* You don't? Oh, great!

Humperdink: That must be the first time a man has dared insult me.

Zel: *making it up as he goes* Well it won't be the last.

Humperdink: You intend you fight me, then?

Zel: Um... Yes?

Ame: .....

Humperdink: *draws sword* All right! To the death!

Zel: *trying to be cliché* No! To the pain!

Ame: To the pain?

Zel: -_-;; *thinking: Why did I say that*

Humperdink: I'm afraid I'm not familiar with that term...

Zel: *whisper* Neither am I... *louder* Let me explain! And I'll use small words so you can understand.

Humperdink: *huff*

Ame: Zelgadis-san....-_-;;

Zel: *whisper* I'm being cliché here! *louder* To the pain means first I cut off your hands at the wrists, and then your feet at the ankles. Then I cut out your right eye, followed by your left.

Humperdink: And then my ears, I understand, let's get on with it!

Zel: Wrong! Your ears you keep, and I'll tell you why! So that every scream, every cry, every time a babe shouts "Dear God, what is that thing?" will echo in your perfect ears. That is what "to the pain" means. It means I leave you wallowing in pathetic misery for the rest of your days. 

Ame: ....

Humperdink: I think your bluffing...

Zel: True. I may be bluffing, you warthog-faced buffoon, but only because I lack the strength to stand. But then again, maybe I have the strength after all. *stands up* *points his sword at Humperdink* Drop. Your. Sword.

Ame: *stares at Zel* 

Humperdink: *totally freaked out* *drops his sword*

Zel: *shrugs at Ame* *to Humperdink* Have a seat.

Humperdink: *sits down*

Zel: *to Ame* Tie him up. Make it as tight as you like.

Ame: Hai! *runs over to Humperdink*

Inigo: *runs in* What's going on?

Zel: *falls, holding himself up with his sword*

Ame: Zelgadis-san!

Inigo: *to Ame* Help him. *stands by Humperdink*

Ame: *runs back over to Zel* 

Inigo: He has no strength.

Humperdink: I knew he was bluffing!

Ame: *helps Zel up* Why?

Inigo: He died and we just woke him up again. Very tiring. What should I do with him? *gestures to Humperdink*

Zel: Leave him. 

Inigo: *looks around* Where's Fezig?

Fezig: *VO* Out here!

Inigo: *runs to the window* Fezig? What are you doing?

Fezig: I went looking for you, and look what I found instead. Four white horses! I figured there'd be four of us if we ever found the lady. Hello, Lady!

Ame: *waves* Hello.

Inigo: You did something right for once.

Fezig: Don't worry. I won't let it go to my head.

Ame: *jumps out the window*

Fezig: *catches her*

Inigo: *gestures for Zel to go first* Now that I've killed the Count, I don't know what to do with my life. I spend so much time on revenge; I have nothing else to do.

Zel: Have you ever considered Piracy? You'd make a great Dread Pirate Roberts

Inigo: *shrug*

Zel: *jumps out the window*

Inigo: *jumps out the window*

Ame: *wondering how Zel knows all this stuff*

Zel: *wondering how the heck he made all that junk up* *whisper to Ame* Do you have any idea how this is supposed to end?

Ame: Um...*looks at the horses* I'm guessing riding off into the sunset...?

Zel: Works for me

Narrator: As they rode off into the sunset, Wesley and Buttercup--

Kid: What? What is it?

Narrator: Oh, it's kissing again, you don't want to hear it.

Zel: Kissing?!

Ame: Kissing...?

Kid: Oh, I don't mind so much now.

Narrator: *shrug*

Ame: ...

Zel: ...

Narrator: In the past, there have been five kisses that have been rated the most passionate, the most pure...

Zel: *BLUSH*

Ame: *BLUSH*

Narrator: This one topped them all.

Zel: **BLUSH**

Ame: All of them....? **BLUSH**

Zel: ...... ***BLUSH***

Ame: ***BLUSH***

Zel: ****SUPER BLUSH**** *kisses Ame super quick*

Ame: O.O

Narrator: *ahem* May I repeat PASSIONATE and PURE

Zel: ***SUPERLY BLUSHIES***

Ame: ****BLUSH BLUSH BLUSHIES****

Zel: Aw, what the hell.... *grabs Ame's face and kisses her PASSIONATELY and PURELY*

Ame: O.O

Narrator: The end.

****

*SWIRLY MISTY WHIRLY TWIRLY BLACKNESS WHEEEEEE*

Ursula: She's mine! *grabs Ame and dives under*

Zel: AMELIA!

Ame: Hey!

Zel: *gets in a rowboat* *rows out* 

Grim: What are you doing??

Zel: I have NO CLUE!!! But this seems like the thing to do, okay???

****

Under the Sea...

Ursula: HAHAHHA--*gasp* King Triton!

Ame: Who?

King: Ursula, you let her go!

Ame: *looks down* Now I have a tail!!!

Ursula: Ah-ah! She's mine! *shows Triton the contract* She signed the contract.

King: *tries to zap the contract*

Ame: I know this one!

Ursula: HA! This contract is binding and legal! Even you can't break it!

Ame: *talking to herself* This is the Little Mermaid!

King: *glare*

Ursula: Of course, I always have been a girl for a bargain. I mean, what better trade than the father for the daughter? Hmm?

King: *glare* *raises his trident*

Ursula: *griiin*

King: *signs his name over Ame's*

Ursula: DONE!!

King: *starts turning into that ugly wormy thingy*

Ame: What?!?!

Ursula: *takes the trident and the crown* Now I am the power of the sea!!!

Ame: Wait...if Zelgadis-san comes down here...he'll sink!!!

Zel: *dives under to save Ame* *wearing several floaty devices*

Ame: ^^;; Of course.

Zel: *shoots the harpoon thingy at Ursula*

Ursula: AH! Grrrr.... Flotsam! Jetsam!

F&J: *grab Zel*

Zel: *can't breathe*

Ursula: MWAHAHA! *points the trident at Zel*

Ame: Zelgadis-san! *picks up a rock cause I can't remember* *bonks Ursula*

Ursula: YAH! *misses* *hits F&J*

Zel: *floats up to his boat*

Ursula: My babies! My little poopsies! *GLARE at Ame*

Ame: Uh.....

Ursula: *huff* *huff* *gets bigger* *inky waters* *BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIG Ursula now* *starts her twirly whirlpool thingy* *ships rise up and stuff and start circling around her whirlpool thing* *shoots the rock Ame's on, knocking her into the very center of her whirlpool thing*

Ame: Ah! 

Ursula: *shooting at Ame* *shooty shooty magicalness*

Ame: *dodges away from the magicalness*

Zel: *sees the old wrecked boats circling Ursula* *gets a genius idea* *climbs aboard one boat*

Ursula: I AM ALL POWERFUL AND STUFF!!! *evil cackle*

Zel: *drives the boat right into Ursula*

Ursula: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! *dies* 

*King Triton's thingy goes back to him, and he's back to normal, and all other mermaids are back to normal*

****

ON THE BEACH...

Zel: *unconscious*

Ame: *staring all wistfully at Zelly*

King: She really does love him, doesn't she Sebastian?

Sebastian: Like I always say, your highness, teenagers should be free to live their own lives

King: You always say that?

Sebastian: *shrug*

King: *sigh* There's only one problem left...

Sebastian: What's that?

King: How much I'm going to miss her.

Sebastian: *confused*

King: *puts his trident on the water* *glowy magicalness over to Ame*

Ame: *is a human again*

Zel: *groan* *wakes up* *sits up*

Ame: *looks over at King* *all happiful* 

Ame: *walks outta the water all slowly and shtuff*

Zel: O.O

Ame: *walks over to Zelly*

Zel: Amelia, what happens next?

Ame: Another kiss.

Zel: *stands up* *blush* ANOTHER!?!?! Can't these be more original???

Ame: *blush* I think they mostly end the same....

Zel: Oh great. Fine! *kisses Ame again*

****

ON THE WEDDING BOAT...

Priest: You may kiss the bride!

Zel: What the--? We just DID!

Ame: *sweatdrop*

Zel: What the--!!! *kisses Ame, all ticked off like*

Zel: Now what?!

Ame: Now it's the end...*ticked off that he's so upset*

King Triton: *rises up to boat level*

Ame: *kisses King's head*

King: *lowers again* *makes a rainbow* *boats sails off into the sun* *the end*

****

*SWIRLY DARKNESS AND COLORS AND WHIRYLT TWIRLY WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!*

Zel and Ame: *back in the temple*

Ame: We're back!

Zel: How the hell is that a useful magical item!??! All it does is throw us halfway into some crazy fairytales!!

Ame: *siiiiigh* It probably did that because you broke it.

Zel: How would breaking it do that?

Ame: You said yourself you didn't know what it did!

Zel: It was a powerful and USEFUL magical item!!! THAT ISN'T USEFUL!!!!

Ame: Why are you so upset anyways?!

Zel: I don't appreciate being forced to do things just to get out of that stupid story!!!!!

Ame: I'm sorry kissing me was that horrible for you.

Zel: Well I would have liked it if I could do it of my own choosing!!

Ame: ...What?

Zel: *realizes what he said* *blush* Oops...What I meant is... um...

Ame: Do you mean that?

Zel: Umm... *blush* Would it be a good thing or a bad thing if I said "yes"?

Ame: *blush* Um...depends...

Zel: Well... either way.... *blush* ... yes ....

Ame: Really? *blush*

Zel: *blush* *nod* Th-that's why I didn't like doing it in the stories... be-because, it wasn't of my own initiative.... and I thought you'd think I was only doing it because I had to…

Ame: Well, I guess I kind of thought that...

Zel: *shrug*

****

*SWIRLY TWIRLY MISTY COLORS AND DARKNESS AND FLOATINESS WITH PURPLE SQUISHIES AND FUN AND WHEEEEEEE!!!! AND TWINKLE MUSIC IN THE BACKGROUND!!!!!!!!*

*scary chanting possessed people are surrounding them*

Zel: What the--

Ame: I don't know this one!

Zel: You don't?!

Ame: Not at all!

Imhotep: *walks up all fully regenerated and stuff*

Zel: Who's this guy?

  
Curator: That is Imhotep. He is fully regenerated.

Jonathan: No, you think?

Zel: ...regenerated?

Ame: *shrugs*

Imhotep: Koontash dai na.

Zel: English please. Or Japanese.

Beni: *walks up* Take his hand and he will spare the others.

Zel: Who?

Beni: *points at Ame*

Ame: Me?

Zel: Oh no! No way! No no no! No way is she going with him! I don't even know who that guy is!

Beni: Lord Imhotep grows impatient.

  
Zel: No!

Ame: If I go with you, do you promise not to hurt them?

Zel: Amelia!

Imhotep: Keetah mi pharos, aja nilo, isirlan.

Beni: Come with me my princess. It is time to make you mine, forever.

Ame: It's for all eternity. 

Zel: I don't know what's up with this guy, but you're not going with him! And how did you know what he said!?

Ame: I don't know! I just kind of.... know....

Zel: Well I know one thing! Creepy regenerated guy isn't taking you anywhere for any length of time

Ame: But we don't have any other choice...do we?

Zel: Yeah... just kill him!

Ardeth Bay: O'Connell...it is not that simple...

Zel: Who's O'Connell??

Ame: Do you promise?!

Beni: *looks back at Imhotep*

Zel: Amelia!! Don't go with that idiot!

Imhotep: *nods* 

Ame: I have to!

Zel: *grits teeth*

Ame: Zelgadis-san.

Zel: Fine.

Ame: *walks over to Imhotep*

Zel: *start* *forces himself to stay put*

Beni: *grabs the key outta Jonathan's pocket*

Jonathan: Hey! That's mine!

Imhotep: *grabs Ame and walks away through the crowd*

Beni: *to the people* Kill them.

Ame: *struggles* NO! DON'T!!!

Zel: AMELIA!

Curator: Quickly! Get inside the museum! Kill the creature!!!

Zel: HOW?

Mob of scary people: *move forward*

Jonathan: Come on!!!

****

LATER…

Winston: *flying his plane* 

Zel: All right there, Jonathon?

Jonathan: Do I LOOK all right you?!?!

Zel: *to the Magi guy* Hey! You okay??

Ardeth: *doesn't look so good*

Imhotep: *sees the plane from the ground*

Ame: *looks up* *happily* They made it!

Imhotep: *does the freaky jaw/sandstorm thing*

Ame: *sees the big scary thingy rise up* Stop it! You'll kill them!!

Beni: That's the idea.

Zel: Fly faster, Winston!!!

Winston: Righty Oh!!!

Ame: *stands there for a second, watching* *groans* *grabs Imhotep and kisses him...hard*

Minna: EEW!!

*the sandstorm thingy stops*

Ame: *pushes Imhotep off* 

Plane: Neeeeeeeeeeerrrrr.... CRASH!!! Boom!!!!

Ame: NO!

Imhotep: *all ticked* *grabs Ame and drags her off toward Hamunaptra*

****

AT THE PLANE CRASH SITE...

Zel: *drags himself out of the plane* *grumble* I can't believe Amelia kissed that guy!

Jonathan: *hanging upside down off the wing* Excuse me. ...A little help would be useful. ...IF IT'S NOT TOO MUCH TROUBLE!!

Zel: Right... Right... *goes to unbuckle Jonathon*]

Ardeth: *gets off by himself* *grabs the gun from the plane*

Jonathan: THANK you

Zel: Hey, Winston

Ardeth: He's dead

Zel: ....Great .... At least this isn't some kid story where nobody dies ...

*sand starts to sink*

Zel: Woah! *jumps back* What the--?

Ardeth: Come on! The creature is preparing for the ceremony!

Zel: *salutes Winston* 

Jonathan: *watches the plane go down* We have to find the statue of Horus!

Zel: Statue of WHO?

Jonathan: He's a big fellow with pointy ears and a face like a falcon.

Zel: .... Chimera?

Jonathan: A what?

Zel: ...never mind. Come on, let's go

Ardeth: Underneath that statue is where you will find the book of Amun Rah. You must use it to return Imhotep to mortality, so you can kill him.

Zel: Right... book of Ammen Ray... kill the bad guy.... got it.... let's go

Ardeth: *run run run inside the temple*

Zel: *right behind him*

****

INSIDE…

Zel: Is this the place?

Ardeth: It's in here somewhere.

Jonathan: *notices a scarab on the wall* *pries it out* Say, gents! You should come have a look at this. 

Scarab: *starts to wiggle in his palm*

Zel: WOAH! 

Scarab: *breaks free of its cocoon and burrows into Jonathan's arm*

Jonathan: *starts to freak out and scream*

Zel: Holy--!! What is that??

Ardeth: It's a scarab! Flesh eaters!

Zel: Okay! Hold still! *takes out a dagger*

Jonathan: *writhing in pain and screaming*

Zel: HOLD STILL! *takes his dagger and starts to cut into right where the scarab is*

Jonathan: *screams LOUDER*

Zel: *gets the scarab out* *takes out his gun* Cool, I have a gun! *shoots the evil bug*

****

MEANWHILE…

Ame: *wakes up chained to the table* *looks over, sees the icky mummy of Anck-Su-Namun* *screams*

****

BACK WITH ZELLY…

Ardeth: From now on, don't touch anything.

Jonathan: *grumbles*

*rumbling noises*

*hundreds of Mummies come at them*

Zel: Who are these guys??

Ardeth: Imhotep's priests!

Jonathan: Well don't just stand there, men! Fire!

Zel: *shoots his gun thingy*

Ardeth: *fires repeatedly* *blows up a few mummies*

Jonathan: They're still coming! Retreat!

Zel: Right! Sure!

Everyone: *run run run* *everybody ducks behind Horus*

Jonathan: Hello Horus, old boy! *pats it*

Zel: This is the guy with the book?

Ardeth: O'Connell! Give me some of your dynamite!

Zel: I have dynamite?

Ardeth: Yes! Yes!

Jonathan: *starts digging*

Zel: *looks around in his pockets* Found it! *gives the dynamite to Magi guy* I wonder if my magic works in this story.... Fireball!

Ardeth: *strikes the match on Zel*

Zel: Hey...

Ardeth: *lights the dynamite* *throws it at the mummies*

Mummies: *go BOOM*

Jonathan: O'Connell! Stop fooling around and help me!

Zel: Fine! Jeesh

Jonathan: *digging*

  
Zel: *starts digging*

Ardeth: Find the girl, kill the creature. *runs into the rest of the mummies firing away*

Zel: MAGI GUY!

Jonathan: The compartment!!! *pulls at it*

Zel: *helps pull it out*

****

MEANWHILE…

Imhotep: *reading from the book of the dead with all the creepy chanting priests and stuff*

Ame: *looking around all scaredly*

*Anck-Su-Namun's soul rises up out of the icky goop*

****

BACK WITH ZELLY…

Jonathan: *grabs the book* We have to go save Evelyn!

Zel: Evely--Oh, Amelia!

Jonathan: What?!

Zel: Never mind! Come on, run! 

Jonathan: *run run run*

Zel: *run run run*

*mummies start bursting outta the ground*

Zel: WOAH! *shoots at them* 

Jonathan: There they are! *points through the doorway*

Zel: Amelia!

Imhotep: *getting ready to kill Ame*

Zel: *grabs a sword from a statue*

Ame: Zelgadis-san!!

Imhotep: *turns around* *glaaaaaaaare*

Zel: *chops Ame's chains off*

Ame: *gets up off the table*

Mummified Anck-Su-Namun: *screams in rage* *gets up too*

Ame: Open the book! Read the inscription!

Jonathan: I can't! It's locked or something! The key! We need the key!

Ame: Read the inscription on the cover!

Zel: *slashes away at the mummies and stuff*

Jonathan: Keetash-something, naraba something. Ebarra im hatu Kashka ummmmm--Rasheem Aaaaa ANUBIS!

*alla sudden the designs on the walls burst open and an army of mummies jump out straight at Zel*

Ame: Uh oh...

Zel: What did you do, Jonathan!?!

Jonathan: I don't know!

Ame: Finish what you--AH!

Anck-Su-Namun: *grabs Ame from behind*

Ame: *throws her off and A-S-N goes flying against the wall*

Zel: *chopping at the zombie mummy things*

Jonathan: Ummm, Hootash im .... Hootash im now what is this last symbol here?

Ame: *straightens up* What's it look like?

A-S-N: *grabs Ame by the throat* *pushes her back into the wall*

Jonathan: It's an Anck symbol, with two little squiggly lines above it, and a bird, a stork on either side! 

Ame: *trying to get A-S-N off* -Ah! Ah! Ahmenophus!

Jonathan: Yes, ...I see.

Zel: *still slashing away*

Ame: *desperately* Hurry!!!

Mummies: *corner Zel* *start with the slashing and the strangling and the fighting*

Jonathan: Hootash im Ahmenophus! 

Mummies: *freeze*

A-S-N: *looks over*

Ame: *kicks her away*

Jonathan: *says something in ancient Egyptian* *translation: Kill Anck-Su-Namun!!!!*

Mummies: *go and kill Anck-Su-Namun*

Imhotep: *screams in rage* *grabs the Book of Amun Rah and throws it at Ame* *grabs Jonathan and pins him up against the wall*

Ame: *ducks as the book goes all the way across the room*

Zel: *hacks off Imhotep's arm*

Imhotep: *drops Jonathan* *turns on Zelly*

Zel: O.O

Ame: *runs over to the book*

Imhotep: *evil evil glare*

Jonathan: *runs over to help Ame*

Zel: *tries to fight Imhotep*

Imhotep: *grabs Zelly* *throws him across the room*

Zel: Oof!

Ame: *on the floor next to the book* The key! Where's the key?!

Jonathan: *grabs it off the alter/table thingy* Got it! *hands it to Ame*

Imhotep: *stalks all ebilly over to Zelly* *lifts Zelly up off the floor and prepares to suck all the life outta him*

Jonathan: *holds the book while Ame looks for the right one*

Zel: *trying to get Imhotep's hand offa him* Amelia!! Hurry up over there!

Ame: I'm trying! I'm trying!

Zel: Try faster!

Imhotep: *says something in Ancient Egyptian*

Zel: What did he just say!?

Jonathan: You don't want to know!

Zel: Oh, thanks a lot!

Imhotep: *glares evilly at Zelly*

Zel: *glares not-so-evilly back*

Ame: Kadeesh mal! Kadeesh mal! Pared oos! PARED OOS!! 

Imhotep: *drops Zelly and whirls around to face Ame looking really really scared*

Zel: *falls to the ground*

*the weird chariot thingy flies by and takes Imhotep's immortality*

Zel: I thought that was supposed to KILL him!!! *gets his sword ready*

Ame: Just stab him! He's mortal now!

Jonathan: *collapses under the weight of the book*

Zel: *runs his sword through Imhotep*

*the icky hole opens up in the goop* 

Imhotep: *stumbles backwards into it* 

Ame: *runs over*

Zel: *funky face*

Imhotep: *goes under the icky goop*

Zel: ...is this the end?

Ame: *shrugs*

*suddenly, the walls start to collapse*

Zel: Guess not! Run!

Jonathan: Come on!

Ame: *run run run*

Zel: *run run run*

****

THEY REACH THE TREASURE CHAMBER…

Beni: *gathering all his treasure and stuff*

Ame: There's the opening! *run run run across the treasure chamber*

Zel: *run run run*

Jonathan: *sees all the treasure* *stops*

Zel: Come on, Jonathan!!

Jonathan: *siiiigh* *runs after them*

Beni: *suddenly realizes that the walls are collapsing* *tries to get all his bags and stuff*

Everybody: *run through the opening*

Beni: *tries to get through, but can't with all his treasure and stuff*

Opening: *CLOSES*

Scarabs: *eat Beni*

****

OUTSIDE…

Hamunaptra: *sinks into the sand*

Ardeth: *from atop of camel* Hello.

Jonathan: More camels...

Zel: *to Amelia* Magi Guy.... I thought he died...

Ame: I guess not...

Ardeth: I only have three camels. 

Zel: Okay...

Jonathan: *climbs on one*

Zel: Your welcome, Jonathan. *sarcasm drip* *climbs up on a camel* Come on, Amelia....

Ame: *climbs up after him*

Jonathan: Well I guess we go home empty handed...

Zel: Yeah. Guess so.

Zel: *whisper* When does this movie end?

Ame: One guess

Zel: Oh great. *shrug* I might as well like it, even though I have to, right?

Ame: *blush* I-I guess....

Zel: *kisses Ame*

Jonathan: *rolls his eyes* Oh please...

****

*SWIRLY WHIRLY WHEEE TWISTY TURNEY UPSIDE-DOWNY COLORS AND BLACK BUBBLES AND CLOUDS WITH TWINKLE MUSIC! YAY!!!*

****

OUTSIDE THE TEMPLE THINGY...

*Zel and Ame appear in a flash of colors*

Ame: Is it over?

Zel: *looks around* We aren't inside the temple... The magic device is inside.... So I guess, yeah, it's over

Ame: That's good to hear.

Zel: Definitely. All that cliche was really getting to me.

Ame: *nods*

Zel: Let's leave this place. We never know what could happen next.

Ame: Maybe this was a good thing

Zel: *looks at Ame* *tiny smile* It wasn't bad. Maybe it was a good thing.

Ame: *smiles* *notices something* Oh look! The sunset! Isn't it pretty, Zelgadis-san?

Zel: *still looking at Ame* Yeah, it is

Ame: *looks back at Zel*

Zel: *smile* You know, I'm actually glad that all happened.

Ame: You are?

Zel: *nod*

Ame: I'm glad too.

Zel: Really?

Ame: Well it wasn't that bad, Lina-san wasn't there so she couldn't tease us, and nobody got hurt...and other things too...

Zel: *nod* Other things...

Ame: *nod*

Zel: *shrug* *thinking: We've done it five times already... why not once more of my own choosing?* *holds Ame behind the head* *gives her big smoochie*

Lina: *teasing* Aw! The mean chimera-man is giving the princess a kiss!! 

Zel: *backs up* *sees Lina* ***BLUSH***

Ame: L...Lina-san!!! ***BLUSHIES***

Zel: Lina, when did you get here???

Lina: Oh, around the time when Amelia said the sunset was pretty. *smirk*

Gourry: It's about time you two got together. 

Zel: Well... *BLUSH* What about the two of you? I can't remember a time when you two were voluntarily apart.

Ame: *BLUSH* That's right! And Gourry-san doesn't HAVE the Sword of Light anymore!

Lina: *BLUSH* I... Well... That is... *composes herself* Gourry can't take care of himself. He needs someone to watch over him and make sure he doesn't trip over a rock.

Gourry: *whisper* And I have to protect the world from Lina.

Lina: I HEARD THAT!!! GOURRY!!!

Ame: *sweatdrop*

Zel: He does have a point, Lina

Lina: Hey, it's not MY fault if the world is afraid of me and my powers!!

Gourry: I think they're more afraid of YOU than your powers...

Lina: GOURRY!!! *bash*

Gourry: Itai itai itai itai!!!

Lina: *bash bash bash* What have I told you about saying things like that?? *bash bash bash*

Gourry: Ow ow ow ow--Don't say stuff like that...? Ow ow ow!!!!!

Lina: Exactly! *bop* So don't! *bop* *crosses arms*

Gourry: *rubs his head* I need to start remembering these things.

Lina: I'll knock some sense into you eventually.

Gourry: I sure hope so!

Zel: See what I mean?

Ame: *nod nod*

Lina: What? Because I beat up on Gourry?

Ame: Well, some people use violence to cover up their true feelings....

Lina: *blush* What true feelings??

Zel: You know, you wouldn't be blushing if this was nothing

Ame: The ones you have for Gourry-san?

Gourry: .....?

Lina: I-I don't! *blush*

Ame: Then why are you blushing?

Lina: I'm not! It... It's the heat!! It's hot in here that's all

Ame: We're outside...

Zel: *arches eyebrow*

Lina: W-well... It's hot out here. then!

Ame: *looks at Zel* Denial?

Zel: *nod* Denial.

Lina: I'm not denying anything!

Ame: ....

Zel: Uh-huuuh

Lina: Forget this!! Come on, Gourry, let's leave these two lovebirds to do their thing!

Gourry: *shrug* Okay, Lina!

Lina: *turns and walks away*

Gourry: *follows her*

Zel: ... denial

Ame: *shakes her head* Those two...

Zel: Lina's too stubborn, and Gourry's too stupid, for them to realize anything.

Ame: Oh well...they'll get it someday...

Zel: Hopefully.

Ame: So, where to now?

Zel: *shrug* I dunno. Wherever we end up when we start walking?

Ame: Okay.

Narrator: And thus ends our story.

****

THE END!

Narrator: Or is it...?

*- Yes we used shamelessly lifted dialogue. ^^ But isn't it cute shamelessly lifted dialogue? 

**- We, the authoresses, have determined that Recovery doesn't heal broken bones. Whether or not this is true, we don't have any proof because no one ever breaks anything in Slayers. Thus, we're sticking to our theory. Don't like it? Don't agree? Watch us care.

***-The third part of the story that Amelia is referring to is the DTV sequel _Aladdin and the King of Thieves_. The second part of the story is of course _The Return of Jafar_. Now everyone is looking at me weird. I'll shut up now… 

****- Go read Shira's ficcie _The Slayers Princess Bride_! It's great! ^__^

*****- Go read Shira's ficcie _Three Days_. *huggles ficcie* It's a reallly cute and original spin on the _Little Mermaid._

******- Go read D.S.' ficcie _The Mummy_. (Yes, this is the end of the shameless plugs, in case you care)

*******- Sorry about the screwy formatting! I worked forever on it and it still wouldn't cooperate! 


End file.
